Last night was no fun. I think I got some sort of food poisoning from funky broccoli. Anyway, I felt badly before bed. Then, around 1:45 I got up and was sick. I was up from 1:45 until about 4 this morning. Then, thinking it was over, I went to bed. At 6 I got up again and went at it for another hour. Indeed, I've been expelling unhealthy stuff from my body a lot in the past 24 hours.
I just had to go again. What's amusing about the second day is that you know enough not to eat anything much, and so when you have to see what you've been consuming again, it's like a baby's spitting up. A very violent spitting up. A dry-heave-inducing spitting up. Also amusing is the point where you've just finished one direction and think, "Ah, heck, I'm already in the bathroom. I might as well save a trip from the couch and tap the other end now." It is a truly bizarre fatalism.
At least now I'm slick as a whistle and all that can be left is a dry heave here or there.
By the way, when will this end and allow me to return to being a person? I'm beginning to doubt the idea that it was food poisoning since my whole body is dying. My headaches, I'm shivering, and of course my abdominal muscles are sore.
I'm gross.
T
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Not Ethan Approved
These are scorpions, grasshoppers, and silkworms. They are on sticks for easier frying and subsequent eating. Yum.
Today I was front and center for the filming of some BNU propaganda. CCTV (they run all the tv stuff in China...) was on campus today, and I volunteered. Fortunately I was wearing my (American made) 北师大 hoodie, and so they stuck me talking to a complete stranger and Austin at the front of the shot. The director, in placing people where he wanted us, called the foreigners (who were his gracious volunteers) lao wai. This is highly derogatory, and it basically means foreign devils! It's like calling a Chinese man a Chink. You don't. Technically it's a made-up term that supplants a family name with the word for outsider. It's like smiling at someone and saying, "Thanks a lot, Mr. Whitey McAmerica!" I guess I'm mainly bothered because this guy did it in front of my face instead of having the decency of the majority of Chinese in saying it out of earshot or so quickly I didn't understand.
Ah, racism. You're the same here as at home. It's nice to see a familiar face. Even if it's yellow.
In other news, The Professor went to the doctor today to get his (I'm not making this up) head examined. Apparently when I punched him in the back of the head/upper neck it might have done some damage. I didn't mean to, it was just a reaction to being head-butted in the crest of my eye-socket. We don't really wrestle that much anymore. He's going to go to a Chinese hospital to get a CAT-Scan because it's much cheaper there. The Canadian doctor recommended it. I asked the Professor on the phone whether he knew how to say CAT-Scan in Chinese. He said no. He said that he would get his tutor to go with him. I asked if he thinks she knows how to say it. He said no, but the doctor taught him the hand motions to make the Chinese understand.
I swear this is not unusual. This is how we lao wai live. (I can say it, I'm one of them.)
T
Sunday, March 23, 2008
So I've been taking a few more pictures lately. This is in part because I realized that I took over a thousand during the month of southeast asian escape I just had, but pictures of my country of residence are relatively few. So, I've been rectifying that lately. Here is a picture.
These are animals made by an old man out of melted sugar. When we walked up to him, he asked me what my birth animal is, so I told him that I'm a baby of '86, so I'm a tiger (if you'll recall, that's the "hu" from "mamahuhu" that we talked about not long ago). So the man went about blowing a sugar balloon and moulding it into a sort-of tiger form. Then he put it onto what looked like a gourd made of the same stuff. Apparently one is supposed to eat the thing like a candy, but I was just impressed that he made it by hand while I stood there, so I carried it around for an hour or two before I bumped into it getting out of a taxi and it shattered. Anyway, here are some other animals that the old man made.
I was trying to upload other things, but Blogger is not cooperating with me. Maybe another time.
T
These are animals made by an old man out of melted sugar. When we walked up to him, he asked me what my birth animal is, so I told him that I'm a baby of '86, so I'm a tiger (if you'll recall, that's the "hu" from "mamahuhu" that we talked about not long ago). So the man went about blowing a sugar balloon and moulding it into a sort-of tiger form. Then he put it onto what looked like a gourd made of the same stuff. Apparently one is supposed to eat the thing like a candy, but I was just impressed that he made it by hand while I stood there, so I carried it around for an hour or two before I bumped into it getting out of a taxi and it shattered. Anyway, here are some other animals that the old man made.
I was trying to upload other things, but Blogger is not cooperating with me. Maybe another time.
T
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Well, I didn't go to the Great Wall on Saturday. It's sad, to be true. However, to make up for it, I went to the Forbidden City on Monday. It was much more enormous and forbidden than I had anticipated. The buildings date back as far as 1420, and the complex sprawls forever. For a quick reference, 1420 is 72 years before Columbus may or may not have discovered America and with him brought all manner of poxes onto the native peoples. That puts the Forbidden City at 588 years old. That's ridiculously old!
This brings me to a thought. I occasionally look around at Beijing and think, "This city is older than my country." Then it occurs to me that Shakespeare wasn't even writing yet when the Emperor started work on his Imperial Palace. That would be roughly 100 years before Luther posted his theses on the door in Wittenburg, and so it was well before the Protestant church came about. And finally, it was 367 years before the ratification of the Constitution of the United States.
I've had it pointed out a lot over the past year that the US's history is not very long. I'm inclined to agree. We plan for the future and look ahead a lot. China looks at the past. China watches long, long cycles repeat themselves. Sometimes it seems like China drives by watching the rearview mirror. The people certainly don't hurry about much here. Except on the subway.
Austin expressed yesterday that he thinks I am really superstitious. I think he's way off-base, and I let him know. I'm realizing through Austin that a lot of stuff gets filtered into how we view the world by way of being American. I see a lot of where I have for so long come from, and I see what changes are yet to be made in me. I think I'm not superstitious, rather, I'm increasingly aware of the stuff that goes on that my eyes cannot see. There is evil in the world, friends, and I only know of one way to work against it: Perfect Good. You know what I'm talking about. It doesn't come from me.
Anyway, my horizons have been broadened this week culturally and spiritually and intellectually and emotionally and all that. It's not always fun, but it's always better to know, to process, to file, and to grow.
T
This brings me to a thought. I occasionally look around at Beijing and think, "This city is older than my country." Then it occurs to me that Shakespeare wasn't even writing yet when the Emperor started work on his Imperial Palace. That would be roughly 100 years before Luther posted his theses on the door in Wittenburg, and so it was well before the Protestant church came about. And finally, it was 367 years before the ratification of the Constitution of the United States.
I've had it pointed out a lot over the past year that the US's history is not very long. I'm inclined to agree. We plan for the future and look ahead a lot. China looks at the past. China watches long, long cycles repeat themselves. Sometimes it seems like China drives by watching the rearview mirror. The people certainly don't hurry about much here. Except on the subway.
Austin expressed yesterday that he thinks I am really superstitious. I think he's way off-base, and I let him know. I'm realizing through Austin that a lot of stuff gets filtered into how we view the world by way of being American. I see a lot of where I have for so long come from, and I see what changes are yet to be made in me. I think I'm not superstitious, rather, I'm increasingly aware of the stuff that goes on that my eyes cannot see. There is evil in the world, friends, and I only know of one way to work against it: Perfect Good. You know what I'm talking about. It doesn't come from me.
Anyway, my horizons have been broadened this week culturally and spiritually and intellectually and emotionally and all that. It's not always fun, but it's always better to know, to process, to file, and to grow.
T
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Today is day 271 of my little Pan-Asian adventure. I actually just did the math, and that means I haven't slept in my own house for 270 nights. You know what, though? It's ok. I have my own apartment here, and my sheets are orange. It's a lot like Conway. Except, of course, for the incessant speaking of Not-English outside. They'll catch on eventually, though, I imagine.
Monday, around lunchtime, I purchased a new steed! This one is green/fades to black. It sits higher than the old one, and I think it might be a tad nicer than the old one, as well. I paid slightly less this time, because now-- seven months into this China gig-- I can haggle and joke with the shopkeepers until they do what I want.
I've realized that dying to self can mean different things at different times. One of them, I'm seeing, is accepting that which does not fit into one's own system of reality. This can take many shapes and forms: the uncanny popularity of American Idol, a literal seven day creation, or chocolate-flavored cheese singles. Today I dealt most closely with the last. I was poking around my local supermarket, (with a French name and a very Chinese interior) and I found chocolate cheese.
Now, please, understand, I'm American. I grew up on the firmly middle class diet of Twinkies and Yoo-Hoo. But there is something disturbing about cheese-cum-chocolate in a plastic film single-serve. The texture (of course I ripped it open and tried it!) is somewhere between chocolate pudding and a Fruit Roll-Up, which, if you're honest, is the same as a regular American cheese single. Lately the Professor has been on a grilled-cheese sandwich binge; that's the real reason I bought the stuff. In reality, the taste is about as close to Godiva as American singles are to cheddar. I'm not sure if I'm more appalled at the idea of the cheese itself or the idea that he might actually make a chocolate grilled cheese sandwich. Then again, what else can you do? Ham-n-Chocolate? Nope. So he might as well take these squares, brown and shiny, and put them between white bread. Slather the whole thing with margarine and cook it to a golden disaster. Who's hungry?
Meeting with my tutor, who we'll call Jill, has been interesting. I'm sensing that I will need to be armed with questions about Chinese and life if we are to make any headway. The knowledge I've gleaned thus far has been very helpful in learning about characters and whatnot. She's quite nice, and she is very helpful in my studies. This week my studies have been progressing nicely, I feel. I'm able to go to class, listen and learn what I can, and then meet Jill and ask her about things that were unclear. The other day I was able to help her edit a letter of thanks to be sent to an interview panel she went before recently. I hope I can do things like this for her benefit. I don't want to always be only taking. And my English is phenomenal... (I say in a fragment.)
The Professor refers to me as Sunshine on his blog. I'm not sure how I feel about that. It basically comes from the fact that he tells me, "Good mornin', Sunshine" most mornings. Am I "Sunshine"-like somehow? I've always thought of myself as more a "terrible and imposing figure" person than "Sunshine." I guess I should answer with, "The Earth says, 'Hello,'" and let it be done with.
I just recently finished reading the book Oracle Bones by Peter Hessler. It is a really good view of the way China has been shaped and formed through history and especially the last 60-or-so years. It's thick but it's a great read. Now I am reading Light in August by William Faulkner. I've always had some dread fear in my heart about Faulkner. I suppose it was unfounded and silly. He's a Southern boy! This book is going quite well, and I admit that it's been too long since I was reading solid fiction. I guess that was most recent with East of Eden last semester. It's like putting on a soft, plush sweater on that day when autumn has finally tilted the calendar in favor of winter and the T-shirts have been forced to surrender their hold on your priority wardrobe shelves. (Did that sentence make sense?) I'm also working with the Professor and Cowboy on a study of a book about the development of a sound rational mind; the book is by J. P. Moreland. Google it.
T
Monday, around lunchtime, I purchased a new steed! This one is green/fades to black. It sits higher than the old one, and I think it might be a tad nicer than the old one, as well. I paid slightly less this time, because now-- seven months into this China gig-- I can haggle and joke with the shopkeepers until they do what I want.
I've realized that dying to self can mean different things at different times. One of them, I'm seeing, is accepting that which does not fit into one's own system of reality. This can take many shapes and forms: the uncanny popularity of American Idol, a literal seven day creation, or chocolate-flavored cheese singles. Today I dealt most closely with the last. I was poking around my local supermarket, (with a French name and a very Chinese interior) and I found chocolate cheese.
Now, please, understand, I'm American. I grew up on the firmly middle class diet of Twinkies and Yoo-Hoo. But there is something disturbing about cheese-cum-chocolate in a plastic film single-serve. The texture (of course I ripped it open and tried it!) is somewhere between chocolate pudding and a Fruit Roll-Up, which, if you're honest, is the same as a regular American cheese single. Lately the Professor has been on a grilled-cheese sandwich binge; that's the real reason I bought the stuff. In reality, the taste is about as close to Godiva as American singles are to cheddar. I'm not sure if I'm more appalled at the idea of the cheese itself or the idea that he might actually make a chocolate grilled cheese sandwich. Then again, what else can you do? Ham-n-Chocolate? Nope. So he might as well take these squares, brown and shiny, and put them between white bread. Slather the whole thing with margarine and cook it to a golden disaster. Who's hungry?Meeting with my tutor, who we'll call Jill, has been interesting. I'm sensing that I will need to be armed with questions about Chinese and life if we are to make any headway. The knowledge I've gleaned thus far has been very helpful in learning about characters and whatnot. She's quite nice, and she is very helpful in my studies. This week my studies have been progressing nicely, I feel. I'm able to go to class, listen and learn what I can, and then meet Jill and ask her about things that were unclear. The other day I was able to help her edit a letter of thanks to be sent to an interview panel she went before recently. I hope I can do things like this for her benefit. I don't want to always be only taking. And my English is phenomenal... (I say in a fragment.)
The Professor refers to me as Sunshine on his blog. I'm not sure how I feel about that. It basically comes from the fact that he tells me, "Good mornin', Sunshine" most mornings. Am I "Sunshine"-like somehow? I've always thought of myself as more a "terrible and imposing figure" person than "Sunshine." I guess I should answer with, "The Earth says, 'Hello,'" and let it be done with.
I just recently finished reading the book Oracle Bones by Peter Hessler. It is a really good view of the way China has been shaped and formed through history and especially the last 60-or-so years. It's thick but it's a great read. Now I am reading Light in August by William Faulkner. I've always had some dread fear in my heart about Faulkner. I suppose it was unfounded and silly. He's a Southern boy! This book is going quite well, and I admit that it's been too long since I was reading solid fiction. I guess that was most recent with East of Eden last semester. It's like putting on a soft, plush sweater on that day when autumn has finally tilted the calendar in favor of winter and the T-shirts have been forced to surrender their hold on your priority wardrobe shelves. (Did that sentence make sense?) I'm also working with the Professor and Cowboy on a study of a book about the development of a sound rational mind; the book is by J. P. Moreland. Google it.
T
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Friday was the end to a slightly less than fantastic week of learning. It was topped off by a fantastically stolen bike. My steed, alas, has been thieved from me. I am, as now, steedless.
Today was spent pow-wowing with the Professor and Cowboy. After a rough start (as witnessed via Skype by my parents), things eventually worked out, and we got a few things accomplished as far as interpersonal relationships.
Then I went down to Wangfujing in order to purchase a Chinese-English/English-Chinese dictionary. Handy to the max, and my tutor wants me to have it. So I got that and Light in August by Faulkner at the bookstore down there. When I finished my shopping, I headed up to Xizhimen to meet the Professor and to go to a cafe. However, we got texted by some friends to meet in... Wangfujing. So I turned myself around and went right back where I'd been, and we met up. We had a good time walking around the souvenir shops and whatnot. I ate a couple of fried scorpions, which, I must say, is a bucket list item. I also secured a pretty amazing domino set. Hard-hitting second-language haggling was successful at saving more than two-thirds the asking price. From RMB 465 to RMB 130. I will take a bow if you ever applaud.
Tomorrow I'm going to a Chinese fellowship.
T
Today was spent pow-wowing with the Professor and Cowboy. After a rough start (as witnessed via Skype by my parents), things eventually worked out, and we got a few things accomplished as far as interpersonal relationships.
Then I went down to Wangfujing in order to purchase a Chinese-English/English-Chinese dictionary. Handy to the max, and my tutor wants me to have it. So I got that and Light in August by Faulkner at the bookstore down there. When I finished my shopping, I headed up to Xizhimen to meet the Professor and to go to a cafe. However, we got texted by some friends to meet in... Wangfujing. So I turned myself around and went right back where I'd been, and we met up. We had a good time walking around the souvenir shops and whatnot. I ate a couple of fried scorpions, which, I must say, is a bucket list item. I also secured a pretty amazing domino set. Hard-hitting second-language haggling was successful at saving more than two-thirds the asking price. From RMB 465 to RMB 130. I will take a bow if you ever applaud.
Tomorrow I'm going to a Chinese fellowship.
T
Thursday, March 6, 2008
I learned a new word. It is perhaps the best word in the whole entire language of Mandarin. Behold:
馬馬虎虎
That's right, friends. Mamahuhu. It's ma-ma hoo-hoo. Literally it means horse-horse tiger-tiger. But that doesn't mean anything, so it actually means so-so, passable, or messy. This word has revived my hope in the Chinese people.
Otherwise, however, I admit that the studies this semester are not going extraordinarily. I'm studying, but it seems like I've been bombarded with new words and grammar in the past two weeks, and there is almost no down time at all.
The good news is that I have a tutor with whom I will be meeting twice weekly this semester. She is a senior at my school and a Biology major. She's only doing research this semester, and so she has no classes, just to be in the lab when the cultures are mature enough. She's nice, but I have yet to think of a clever pseudonym for her. We met today. She will be teaching me about character formation and the radicals and whatnot. Her father is a professor of classical Chinese, and I think she knows a lot.
Lately I've been doing some studies on my own time about things less directly related to Chinese. It's interesting to say the very least.
T
馬馬虎虎
That's right, friends. Mamahuhu. It's ma-ma hoo-hoo. Literally it means horse-horse tiger-tiger. But that doesn't mean anything, so it actually means so-so, passable, or messy. This word has revived my hope in the Chinese people.
Otherwise, however, I admit that the studies this semester are not going extraordinarily. I'm studying, but it seems like I've been bombarded with new words and grammar in the past two weeks, and there is almost no down time at all.
The good news is that I have a tutor with whom I will be meeting twice weekly this semester. She is a senior at my school and a Biology major. She's only doing research this semester, and so she has no classes, just to be in the lab when the cultures are mature enough. She's nice, but I have yet to think of a clever pseudonym for her. We met today. She will be teaching me about character formation and the radicals and whatnot. Her father is a professor of classical Chinese, and I think she knows a lot.
Lately I've been doing some studies on my own time about things less directly related to Chinese. It's interesting to say the very least.
T
Monday, March 3, 2008
Today I took a health day off from school. I'm not sure if I should call it a sick day or an emotional health day or something less legitimate sounding. By any name, though, I did not go to classes this morning, and I spent the day being mostly inactive in the southeast corner of Beijing. I visited two Starbucks today. I have a very real cold/sinus thing going on, and it started flaring up Sunday. Now it's just that nasty drippy nose, constant throat clearing stuff. I find the drugs make me less lucid by the minute, and on Sunday I took a three hour nap, courtesy of Benadryl.
Anyway, over the past day or two I've been in a sort of unusual mindset, the depths of which I will not explore on a very public blog. Suffice it to say that I've been rethinking my view of the world. That's not meant to scare anyone or panic people across the globe. I'm just realizing that the vacuous places in my mind and heart are due to incongruities in the way I see the world. Am I supposed to approach the world with an American, post-modern worldview? Am I supposed to be approaching it from a vantage point much more ancient? Do the two meet? Should they? What I've noticed is that I've been approaching the world from a point-of-view that is a weird amalgamation of the two. They are incongruous, and therefore my mind has been at odds with itself. This sounds like blather to me, and you can sense that, but what I'm getting at is this: I need to change the way I approach the world, myself, the people around me, and the One who made it all. It's all been sliding by on a basis that accepted "good enough" and approved of "making it work" instead of probing the gaps with questions and a legitimate search for solid answers.
I know that my naivete is probably showing through like (make up your own clever simile here, I tried), but I wonder if supplementing foundational work isn't a good way to start.
I understand that this is sort of a weird post, and the nature of it is such that I can't afford to really be specific. But I am in an interesting place now, and I hope things progress from here.
In other news, my reading and writing professor has volunteered to help me out by tutoring me on points I don't understand. At least, I think that's what he has volunteered to do. I could be confused. Anyway, he seems really nice, and I hope we can get to actually know each other outside just a teacher-student thing. Perhaps colleagues or even (gasp) friendly-ish people. We will see.
Did anyone look at my pictures? There are only a few hundred online...
T
Anyway, over the past day or two I've been in a sort of unusual mindset, the depths of which I will not explore on a very public blog. Suffice it to say that I've been rethinking my view of the world. That's not meant to scare anyone or panic people across the globe. I'm just realizing that the vacuous places in my mind and heart are due to incongruities in the way I see the world. Am I supposed to approach the world with an American, post-modern worldview? Am I supposed to be approaching it from a vantage point much more ancient? Do the two meet? Should they? What I've noticed is that I've been approaching the world from a point-of-view that is a weird amalgamation of the two. They are incongruous, and therefore my mind has been at odds with itself. This sounds like blather to me, and you can sense that, but what I'm getting at is this: I need to change the way I approach the world, myself, the people around me, and the One who made it all. It's all been sliding by on a basis that accepted "good enough" and approved of "making it work" instead of probing the gaps with questions and a legitimate search for solid answers.
I know that my naivete is probably showing through like (make up your own clever simile here, I tried), but I wonder if supplementing foundational work isn't a good way to start.
I understand that this is sort of a weird post, and the nature of it is such that I can't afford to really be specific. But I am in an interesting place now, and I hope things progress from here.
In other news, my reading and writing professor has volunteered to help me out by tutoring me on points I don't understand. At least, I think that's what he has volunteered to do. I could be confused. Anyway, he seems really nice, and I hope we can get to actually know each other outside just a teacher-student thing. Perhaps colleagues or even (gasp) friendly-ish people. We will see.
Did anyone look at my pictures? There are only a few hundred online...
T
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