I'm in Dallas. I came down here with the Cowboy on Friday night, and we spent Saturday hanging out on the lake with the Professor, his friends (and the Starbucks Girl), and his maternal grandparents. Cowboy and I spent Friday and Saturday night with the grandparents (which was a bit awkward, having never met previously, though they were certainly hospitable), and then went to Fellowship on Sunday in Forney. That was pretty decent, I guess.

I got a sweet sunburn on the lake on Saturday, most beautifully on the tops of my thighs down to my knees. They are a stunning shade of pink, and sore to the touch. It's the best ridiculously placed sunburn ever. My arms, shoulders, and face also got some burnage, but those are normal. Knees are not. Luckily it is healing fairly quickly and I will hopefully just be tan in a few days.

I've been a bit bummed since I've been in Dallas, and I can't say exactly why. Perhaps it's because I'm out of my element completely (no car, time on the lake, Dallas, no money, no other friends) and the Professor is in his (book stores, freeway driving, jet skis, politicizing). So he is able to do his own thing, and I am basically staring at the wall. This is of course not his intention, and it's been addressed. But it still sucks, you know? All things in time, I suppose.

Today I purchased a copy of a book about church history. I'm interested in reading this because it has lately come to my attention that I need to learn and glean from those who have gone before me. And it's impossible to read about the history of doctrines without knowing the history point blank. And from that point I can eventually start to see what is a repetition of old cycles of human fallacy and what is not. And what is heresy vs. the leading of the Spirit. Anyway, it's a start. It's also not the only thing I'm reading.

I'm currently alone at a Starbucks about two blocks from the Professor's apartment. He and Cowboy are at Dallas Theological Seminary's library perusing the shelves and doing "research" which I'm fairly sure means booklust. Since I'm not a bookluster I came down here to pay ridiculously much for internet connectivity. I will admit that Starbucks in walking distance saves gas money and completely kills the rest of my budget. You win some you lose some. I will also admit that I giggle when the baristas have to lean out the window of the drive-thru and say silly things like "venti decaf nonfat caramel raspberry green tea with two Splendas." I don't think I'm a coffee snob or anything, but that seems beyond insanity. Really? All that's in one specific glass of tea?

I am looking forward to the conference this week. I am also looking forward to it being past the parts of my own involvement. After then, I am free from this stuff and can begin to think more seriously about the next couple years of my life. I have so much to do before I can even worry about going outside of Conway. If things were more free for me, I'd probably reconsider where and what I'm doing. But they aren't, and won't likely be any time soon. So I press on. There is clearly a reason I am locked into where I am.

Here's to my venti sweetened black tea, iced, with lemon.

T

The transition back from Mars has been a little rough for me, and I guess that's partially expected. I'm definitely not feeling the same toward a lot of things as I used to. And I'm glad of that, but it makes relating to people a bit different.

Not to help things too much, my friends are all somewhere else. Everyone got a job or internship or a research position or married. They are all living in different places. Of course this spreading of friends is not helped by my living in Texarkana AND Conway, thereby creating a gap anyway. It's awkward, and I really wish I had someone to just sit with and be. It might help me to acclimate a bit better.

That said, I am looking forward to the next week or so. I'm going to be traveling with Cowboy to the Dallas area for the Professor's birthday on the lake party, which will be held on Saturday. After a couple days we will go from there to San Antonio for the tail end of our responsibilities as wunderkinds. The year has been rough. I just realized that I have yet to eulogize it. Maybe soon. Maybe after I've told those in the know what they need to change. I don't know.

Anyway, I am looking forward to seeing my friends again. I feel a bit like my relationships that grew over the last entire calendar year have been weed-whacked in a few days to stubs. It's hard to move on from that and graft back into positions I don't quite fit anymore.

A few things I've noticed that have changed in American culture:
Kathie Lee is employed again
Leeza Gibbons is the host of Millionaire
Regis and Kelli still aren't funny... or real people
Regis is hosting another game show thing
Colby something or other. I have no idea who she is, and this feels like a handicap.
The Counting Crows have a new album
So does John Mayer
The View is still a bunch of biddies complaining about being biddies
Texans still can't drive worth their licenses
Everyone still wants a newer/better computer, phone, car, house, job to pay for it all

I guess those are my observations.

I got a free cup of coffee the other day at Starbucks because they were really busy and I just ordered regular coffee. Apparently it was not worth their time to make me wait to ring it up. Sweet action! Take that, multi-national corporation of death/the only place that made me not feel like an alien for the past year.

T

Well, life in Texarkana has changed very little as far as I can see. Over the year I was gone the state of Arkansas began taxing groceries (which sucks), but not much else seems different.

Today I took my first solo American outing since the return. I went to Target. It was alright, though I honestly can't shop like I once did. I just don't feel like accumulating so much junk. I'm glad of the change, though I admit that I still very much like new things. Clutter bothers me now more than before. I guess it is tied to the whole idea that I will need to pack up and move again in a month and a half. I'm a nomad, I guess.

On the way to Target I felt the awkwardness of driving for the first time in a long time. It was nice, and I realized that my (now seemingly huge) SUV drives smoothly. A year in manual transmission bound Hyundai Elantra taxis will do that, I guess. Driving was liberating, though I admit that I haven't gotten the courage to attempt the highway again just yet. It seems so... fast. I'm sure that will change in the next couple of days or so.

At Target I ran into my old roommate, Jonathan, and we had a nice stroll among the toothbrushes. It was good to run into someone who I was glad to see, but probably wouldn't have just called out of the blue. I wish that more of my friends were available here now, but the truth is that I'm going to have to reconstruct a friends network when I get to school, and figure out what it will mean. I can't say that I'm looking forward to this, but I am definitely looking forward to not being so isolated.

I am considering going to work this summer a little, but I don't know if I can handle it. I mean, I just feel like structure would be good (and money couldn't hurt), but I don't know if it would go well right now. I feel kind of shell-shocked and off-kilter. Maybe in a few weeks I'll be better. I might call around and see what's up, anyway. I am afraid that my schedule will be pretty strange this summer. I'm planning on a few out-of-town jaunts of varying lengths, so I don't know what that will mean. But at the moment I have about 13¢ to my name, so roadtrips on $4/gallon are a bit far-fetched.

I hope to get to sleep tonight like a normal person. I haven't quite gotten the hang of that yet. And that sucks.

T

Tonight I will be sleeping in the room I've held since I was about 6 months old. That is, assuming I can ever get to sleep.




Jetlag.


And I just feel generally out of place.

T

Here are pictures of the Terra-cotta soldiers trip. It was fun. Enjoy a day in the life of college students using up days on a Chinese residence permit.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=23046&l=6b6bf&id=573182167

T

For those of you that are counting (all two of you) I have been away from my home for one year as of this past week.



Unfortunately for the rest of you, I'm coming home on Tuesday, arriving on Wednesday, and set to begin re-terrorizing the neighborhood (in very limited engagements) on Thursday. It was suggested to me that I start taking naps during the afternoon and staying up late nights these few days ahead of time in order that my body clock adjust to the 13 hour time difference. When the suggestion was made, however, I was forced to look into that dear friend's face and ask how that would be different from what I do already.

Today I went to our International Fellowship for the last time. I said goodbye to the corporate meeting, and I was a bit sad about it. But it's over, and I'm glad they were here while I was. I know that my impact on that body was minimal, but it was wonderful to have somewhere to go for this time. I've had other fish to fry in that department this year, anyway.

I also said goodbye to Danilo, who is now back in Mozambique for time with his family. Danny's father died this past week, and through amazing programs in place he was able to get a free roundtrip ticket Beijing-Maputo-Beijing and go home for the funeral. I'm so glad that this worked out for him. I realize that you don't know who Danny is, but he's a friend I've been seeing regularly this semester, and Dad has done some growing in his life that has been so encouraging to see. He went with us to Shanghai, if you'll recall. Anyway, it's good that he was able to go home (even if the circumstances are sad) because otherwise he wouldn't be able to see his family for a full 5 year stint in Beijing. I can't even begin to imagine what that would be like. A year is up, and I'm limping back to America like some sort of broken colt.

I also said goodbye to some young ladies that we've had the privilege to get to know since Christmastime. They have been a lot of fun to hang out with, and I'm sad to say goodbye to new good friends, but instead of lingering on it, I'll be thankful for new contacts across the US. Speaking of which, I now have friends from so many different places it's ridiculous. I'm pretty sure that if I wanted to go to Jakarta or Seoul I would have a place to stay. And then there's San Diego and Milwaukee. And Melbourne, London, Manila, Yamaguchi prefecture (which would be Shan Kou prefecture if the Japanese could read right, I mean look at it: 山口 . It's clearly shan kou-- mountain mouth. Silly Japanese and their weird language.), and let's not forget Maputo!

In all, I must say that I'm running on fumes here, and that I am looking immensely forward to being in my own bedroom soon. In a bed with a real mattress, not a pad on top of a wooden box, and with central aircon. And I do look forward to my car. I know that gas is super-expensive, but I want to DRIVE. My game plan for the next week and a half is something like this: Sleep until I wake up, get up, dressed, what have you. Go to Target and not buy anything, though I will look through the entire store for bargains. Go to Old Navy to compare prices of similar items but still not buy anything. Spend a half hour at each store converting the prices to RMB, then deciding that's not a healthy thing to do, but still be shocked at how much stuff costs in America. Go to Starbucks, order the cheapest thing available (probably 当日咖啡... or whatever it's called in English, you know, regular coffee of the self-same exact day) and read books and call people and have them come talk to me about their lives. I also plan to watch movies at the theater on Tuesdays late, since it's cheaper that night, and I intend to sneak in as much dark chocolate as I can from a quick visit to Albertson's immediately beforehand. It's not really cheating to sneak in candy that the theater doesn't even sell.

I'll probably need people to have some mix cd's ready for me of whatever crazy music is popular in America now. I have no idea of music that has come out in the last year. The only song that I've heard that wasn't out when I left is that stupid "Beautiful Girls/Suicidal" song, though I have no idea who was singing it at the time. I've gotten nothing. So don't be surprised if I hate whatever you're listening to in the car, friend. It's all new, and we all know that popular music is only palatable when we know it's what's cool. Don't kid yourself. It mostly sucks. That's why we have to listen to it over and over on the radio and tv commercials. Eventually it makes it's sneaky way onto our iPods, and before we know it, we have spent money on what they told us to buy. Clever devils!

I'm thinking I might also spend some time at the park, but it will depend on how ridiculously hot it is outside. I might do yard work, as well. I kind of miss that. Don't get any ideas, Dad.

Which brings me to this: Happy Father's Day!
Sorry for missing two in a row. But I'll bring you a cool present in a few days anyway.

T

Here are some more pictures from my last couple weeks in Beijing. I hope you like them.
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=22543&l=c4b64&id=573182167

Tonight I was in a taxi with the Professor and Cowboy, and we saw everyone on the side of the street pointing and looking at the top of a building. As we passed, I saw the silhouette of a man standing on the edge of the building, indubitably considering the end of his life. These things get under my skin, and I'm fairly sure that's a good reaction.

Tomorrow I am finished with Beijing Normal University. And tomorrow night I will get on a train and go to Xi'an, which is one of the ancient capitals of China, and it's the home to the famed Terra-cotta soldiers that were discovered in the 1970's, but which date back into one of the old dynasties that ruled China. They are guards of the Emperor's tomb. Also, Xi'an has a well-endorsed (by friends) Muslim quarter, and now you know that I'm a Muslim food aficionado.

T

This morning, as I was showering in preparation to go to the East-side for International Fellowship, the lights of the bathroom popped off. As did all the electricity in our apartment. We ran out of electricity. You have to prepay everything in a society where no one trusts anyone. So our prepaid electricity was up, and that's all there was to say about that. You have to buy credit at the bank. Don't ask me about that logic. My cell phone is prepaid, as well. It's the norm.

Austin, my roommate who speak Chinese pretty well, I assumed would take care of it. He didn't. So there is still no electricity in our house, and the bank is closed until the morning. The Professor and I have subsequently moved into a hotel for the night. I won't lie, it's kind of a vacation. You know, a two-block-away vacation. Private full-size bed that's not just a wooden box. My own aircon. My own bathroom. And I'm right next to the Muslim bakery. Bakery is a generous term in this case, but they make bread products, so what?

Sidebar: Muslim food is the best food in the entire world, and I have no qualms with saying that. If I can't have home-cooked Southern food, sign me up to eat halal. The Muslim community here is mostly from the region of China called Xinjiang (新疆). It is an enormous province (think Alaska, but China, and with lots of people) to the direct north of Tibet (西藏). It is where China meets Pakistan, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, etc. And it's chock-full of Uighur people. They're kind of like Turkey-meets-Russia-meets-China. And I don't feel comfortable saying much more about them other than I love their food. One China.



Lately I'm wrapping up school and buying presents before I have to head home. Not too many people know this, but I am not really an expert gift-giver. So truly, if you want something (that's not expensive, heavy, or big) please just tell me! I've bought several things, but I really am coming up blank on so many things. And here's a warning, I'm not really getting much that's super-fancy, but I think the stuff I am getting is pretty cool.

Speaking of gift-buying, I went in to a Tibetan handicrafts store in Houhai to look at what they have. I think Tibetan jewelry and silks are beautiful, and I wanted to get something for someone. I found a banner with the eight symbols of Lama Buddhism, and it was really nice looking, so I asked if they had it in any other colors. The woman, with whom I'd been chatting nicely, brought out a bag of a few colors, and I picked up one that I liked most. I flipped it over, and as I inspected it, the woman was telling me that it was all silk, and hand embroidered, and blah blah blah. So on the back, there was a tag. When there is a tag on something, that tells us a few things. Number one, it's not handmade. Number two, it's probably not a natural-material product. Number three, you are being overcharged. The tag proudly stated 100% Polyester Made in Nepal. Now the woman, when confronted with clearly damning evidence, had the gall to say that Nepal and Tibet are culturally the same, and that only the outer lining was not really silk. I told her that even if it was the same, I didn't live in Nepal, and I didn't want to take things to America from a place I've never been! I live in China, and I want to take things from China home! She told me that if I wanted Chinese things, perhaps I should look in some other stores, because she only sells Tibetan things. And with that she pointed at my other purchases of the day and told me to get on my way. I say she can keep her fake Tibetan polyester crap. Hmph!

As finishing school goes, I am down to one more test. It's in my reading and writing class, ergo it's the hardest test of all. And yet I'm strangely zen about the whole thing. As in, I'll make what I make, and that's that. It's not that I don't care, but I'm resigned to the fact that I came in with almost no language training, and I've learned a lot, but I am not at the level BNU wishes me to be. I'm pretty proud of my level of language acquisition. I talked to a taxi driver about the rules of drinking baijiu (which is like Chinese vodka (and the requests for bring-home gifts finally start to pour in...)) and about how the pollution makes everyone cough. He doesn't drink or smoke (so he's probably not Chinese, anyway), but his health isn't good because all he does is eat, sleep, and drive his cab. Poor guy! But he clearly does more than that, because he knows every player in the NBA. It is a good feeling to have light conversation in a second language. It makes me feel accomplished.

The other night I played a some farewell lasertag with some Chinese kids. It was sad to say goodbye, but I'm sure things all work together for the good. And I hope that even though there is little visible response with those guys, they may have seen or heard something in our times together that could lead them down a new life path. We also ate the best pizza in Beijing that night and got asked very politely to buy more food and drinks or leave. Too loud, I guess...

That feels like enough stories for one post. I want to tell a story about my friend's unusual English name, but I'm not sure if I can. It makes me laugh every time, though, so I'm sure I'll tell it eventually.

T

There's been a lot going on, but I don't have time to write it all out. If I don't get back to these things, remind me in a few weeks, and I can flesh them out.

-24-hour Pink Eye (all better now)

-Oliver! the musical, international cast-style

-China Prom
--making my tux, being nominated for best dressed (it was a whole thing)
--dancing my hiney off
---for charity
--getting broken up by the cops for being too loud? Thrice.

-Upcoming finals

-Pending things
--last vacation-like trip to see the Terra-cotta Soldiers
--laser-tag with Chinese kids
--securing housing for next semester


T