Working through the weekend

There is an enormous amount of hustle and bustle going on outside, and the fact that it's Saturday nevertheless disturbs me. I attended an opening ceremony and orientation this morning; I had to be down in the lobby at 7:30 to walk there. The opening ceremony was in Chinese and translated to English. The orientation was in Chinese, then translated to English, Japanese, and Korean. That means it took 3 times longer than it might have. After that, my fellow English-speakers and I were sent to a lecture hall where we were informed of the laws of China, instructed on how to convert our visas to residence permits, and given the name and address of the best pub in Beijing. That last, of course, is a matter of the opinion of the officer who was giving our lecture.

In a little less than an hour, I'll set out for a party which is being thrown to let the new internationals meet one another. This hold equal parts promise and suspicion in my mind. Friends being the promise. Suspicion lurks in the corners of my mind for anything that seems entirely benevolent. ...what is the agenda? It's rare and lovely when there is none.

I also have still more banking to do today. One day this will be straightened out. That one day will only happen when I don't have to deal with the Zhongguo Yinhang or Bank of China.

T

Studies are important.

Yesterday I had a bit of an "I Hate the People's Republic" Day. It started when I took and miserably failed my language placement. This was no surprise, but if you know me, you know how much I hate failure.

Then I went to the Bank of China to withdraw money using a cash advance on my credit/debit card. I got a number and waited for over an hour and a half. Then I proudly walked up to the desk, gave them my card, number, and passport, and asked for 30,000 kwai. The man looked at my Batman card and told me it was a debit card, to use it at the ATM. I told him I'm well aware of the uses of the ATM, but I certainly can't get 30,000 kwai from one. I told him I know it's a debit card, but the MasterCard symbol on the corner implies that it can be run as credit. That's what I wanted them to do. Run a 30,000 kwai credit, give me the money, and let my checking account pay it back. That's the essence of a cash advance. He told me that there was an ATM outside, and that I should use it out there. I told him I've done a cash advance at that bank before, and I know they can do it. He told me to use the ATM outside to withdraw cash. I reminded him again that I know about the ATM, but that it won't give me enough money. He told me to use the ATM. I sighed heavily and said, "Right." And I left.

After lunch I took a nap. Then, when my roommate came in, he asked if I was going to go somewhere. I told him, "China isn't being very nice to me today, so I'm not being very nice to China." Which is stupid, I admit, but there is some serious culture stressing going on. Then we went to WuMart (laugh if you must, but it's a lifeline) and bought sundry things. I bought food, and I am only going out today if I choose to. I have some instant noodles, biscotti, juice, water, and chips. I also have a teapot to make hot water. I'm kind of planning on reading Harry Potter 7 and watching The Office (which I bought on iTunes), and otherwise being a bum today. It's because I have stuff I must do tomorrow and Sunday mornings, and I need a day of rest.

T

A most fulfilling blog post

Chinese TV is not very good.
I'm not saying this to down the Chinese people, I'm just saying that to me, the TV is less than entertaining. Not always, but usually. Right now it's on behind me, and some guy is playing his accordion in concert, and there are Chinese language titles in the lower third. The only English channel was just playing a story about a painter, which could have been interesting, but it was in Chinese. There were English subtitles. Last night was a bright spot of sorts, though. The movie from the 90's, Nine Months, with Hugh Grant and Julianne Moore and Robin Williams, was on. It was in English, but not on the English channel. Also yesterday I watched an American travel show filmed in Miami, but it was overdubbed in Chinese. I enjoyed seeing pictures of the U.S.

I finished the 9th Bowge of Circle 8 of Hell today after waiting in a single line for two hours, then going downstairs, back upstairs, getting a document stamped, and then running away in fear that they'd ask for another document. I escaped! So tomorrow morning I get to take my placement exam and let them know how Mandarin ignorant I am.

Today I was feeling particularly hard pressed on every side. So, I had some study time and a good bit of conversation. An image came to my mind:

There was a person stooped in the middle of a sidewalk which was overflowing with people all walking the same way. And then one person walks up behind the one stooped, and he stops behind. This man, in a grey suit and with a tie, created a barrier. His body, him stopped, keeps anyone from trampling the one stooping. The best I can figure is that I'm stooping. And once I get up, I'm to look for someone else who is stooping. I will be the barrier for others that He is for me. That is why I'm here.

T

Today I went and did all my registration except the final step. That means that I get to go out again tomorrow. But who cares, really? I got my insurance policy checked, picture taken, medical records checked, and I paid. I also received a goody bag from the university which included a t-shirt. It doesn't fit, but I really think it's the thought that counts. Something happened with the last line, so I received a number to come back. I didn't feel like waiting around forever to get that number, so I'll just start anew tomorrow in that line. After I do that I'll get to take my placement test. Not excited. I don't love failing tests. I know I'm a beginner, why put me through that? It's kind of like there should be a box to check when donating blood that says "I verify that I am a virgin and have never tried intravenous drugs," this would cut the awkward time in half. Likewise, I have only taken one semester of Chinese, so I doubt seriously that I'll be advanced.





A couple hours later...

A lot has happened today. I went to a three story Wal-Mart. And there have been bank card crises. Things will all work out. I'm just too tired now to really tell you what all has gone on. Think about me and my comrades.

T

Dim sum and red hundreds

Today was interesting. I went to an enormous bank twice. The second time I actually did business. I have enough money in cash to enroll in school tomorrow morning. Sweet action! I don't particularly like walking around with huge sacks of kwai, but if it happens, it happens. This brings me to an interesting note. I don't really know how to refer to the money here. I've heard three conflicting stories about it. The money may be referred to as yuan (you-ann) or as RMB (are-em-bee) or kwai (kw-eye). I know that those pronunciations are mostly superfluous, but I felt like it. Anyway, I don't know which is which, or if there is any difference. The money itself says 1 yuan on it. The exchange boards all say something about RMB. Some of the people I've met call it kwai. It is a conundrum, I suppose.

My documents and money are in order now, so I will be registering for school tomorrow. Hooray! I can see visions of standing in endless lines all morning. I can also see visions of not standing in those same lines tomorrow, which is really a good thing. I still need to pay housing. My poor Batman MasterCard debit card is getting tired these days. I've been swiping the heck out of it, because I have to pay everything (tuition, books, housing, fees) all in cash. I feel like buying a bulletproof briefcase to walk across campus to register, it's that much money. I have 22,900 RMB in 100 RMB bills in my safe in my room. That's a lot of bills. I'm glad to be getting them out of my hands tomorrow. That comes to right around $3,061.49 USD. In $13 bills. 229 of them.

Tonight I had my first authentically Beijing-made dim sum. It was pretty good. I like dim sum, and it is cheap, so that's good, too. I also had a bowl of rice. Those of you that made rice jokes should can it. You get used to plain white rice. There's no real flavor, but it fills you up. And it's not hard to eat, even with chopsticks. You just remember to scoop, not pinch.

T

Tears for Fears strikes again!

Well, what all happened today? Let's see.

I went to WuMart this morning and bought several things to get shop properly set up here in the dorm. It went ok, found the store fine and most of what I needed. Then my roommate and I decided we needed to buy an iron to use between the two of us. So I waved a worker person over and said (in sort of Chinese) "We want that one" and pointed to the display model iron. So she climbed up on a step stool and got one for us. Well, she got one kind of like it for us, but there wasn't the one we wanted, so I told her "this one is fine" and then she wrote a ticket and said some stuff I didn't understand and waved me toward a woman standing behind a small checkout desk. So I took the ticket to her and she stared at the ticket, then stared at me. So I went back to the woman who wrote the ticket, took her to the desk with the other woman. Then they talked (argued?) and some kind of receipt was written, and then they both stared at me. Then woman number two pointed at the number on the receipt. So I paid.

Later today I bought a Chinese cell phone. It's fine, but I can't figure out how to enter people's names to store numbers. When I do, it treats it like pinyin, and then the characters pop up in the place of the letters. That's pretty not cool.


This afternoon I bought Horton Hears a Who in parallel English and Chinese. It's pretty amazing. I also bought a Mandarin phrase book to help get me through living here before I really know the language. I've gotten amazing at saying things like "That one!" and "Here is good" and "I don't have ___" and "I/He/We need to buy ___" all in Chinese. I can also say the normal stuff like "I'm sorry/excuse me" and "Thanks" and "You're welcome" and "Right" and "Hello."

I speak fluent Chinglish.


Tonight I went with a couple of guys to go have dinner, and we got a little lost. I finally told the driver "Here is good," and we got out. Then we walked for a while and met a couple of Chinese people in their 20's. They were really friendly and nice and wanted to listen and talk to us in English. So we did. Then they took us to show us a free art exhibit at the school they attend. This is also known as being scammed to the teeth by Chinese people. The ploy was to get us to buy some of their crappy prints which were masquerading as paintings. However, my roommate figured this out (as did the rest of us, though a moment too late to not go in the first place) and so he called someone on his phone and we pretended to be in-demand elsewhere and graciously bowed out. It was really fortunate that we got out then, because it would have been embarrassing for the con artists (it's a pun!) to learn that even though we're Americans/white/foreign/young, we don't have money to spend as it is. We only had enough on us for dinner. As I pointed out later, you can't get blood from a turnip. And though there were no turnips directly involved, I feel this is still somehow related.


As a result of our fervor to get out of that immediate area, we walked for a while before finding a place to eat. Subsequently, we came upon what is forever to be heralded as a diamond in the rough: Mexican Wave. It is a Mexican restaurant in the middle of Beijing. If you're keeping score at home, that's about 11,000 miles from Mexico. Apparently this place is a big ex-pat hangout. It was not strictly Mexican food, that is, there was pizza and beef sirloin or whatnot also. But it was all pretty decent. And how can you really complain too loudly about the quality of the Mexican food that is served to you by someone who has never heard Spanish actually spoken? I mean, it's the capital of China. Any kind of chip and salsa combination is lauded. An added bonus was the guy who played the guitar and sang the song "Everybody Wants to Rule the World."

Recap: Beijing + Enchiladas + Live cover of 80's British Pop = Multicultural Experience

T

So, I can write in this blog, I just can't view it. Go figure. Thanks, China.

I have used so much of my very limited Chinese today, it has been incredible. Who even knew that that one semester back in the States would help? I mean, yeah, exposure, but it has really been useful. Xiexie to Wu Laoshi back at the school.

Today I moved into my dorm room. It's shaped really strangely. It is 30 ft long. Part of it is 5 ft wide, and then around the bed area it expands to 8 ft wide. Then at the door it is 7 ft wide. So it's like a long hallway. Also, the walls are pink. With deeper pink for the trim. Gorgeous.


I'm in the market for a new cell phone. That is, one that works in China. So I'm doing a little research online. I would love to get the iPhone knockoff, but I don't know if I want to pay that much for it. Here's what it does. Looks familiar, huh?

I suppose that's all. Tomorrow will be more settling in, methinks.

T